How To Be A Supervillain

It does happen, occasionally you will attract the wrong kind of henchman into your gang.  They fire before ordered, they destroy cash when stealing it and they can’t make a decent cup of tea.

What do you do if you are stuck with a henchman zero?

Well it depends on your organisation’s structure, if you are well financed and have a payroll then you can let HR deal with it and give him a don’t-come-Monday slip.  If you’re like the rest of us you may have to be a little subtler:

• Say something offensive - if the henchman happens to be of a certain religion or race then consider saying something rude, maybe he’ll up and leave thinking that your organisation is a bit racist.  If all of your gang happens to be of the same persuasion then you may wish to reconsider, it can be lonely in evil games room on your own.
• Do something inappropriate - I’m not talking about something that will get you hauled in front of the equal opportunity league of fear, try eating with you mouth open, talk loudly on your mobile during outings to the movies or slap them with your dirty socks.
• Move lairs - only if you were thinking of doing so in the first place, put in an anonymous call to the Fantastic Four and then do the bolt without telling the idiot henchman who broke your iPod.
• Pretend you’re allergic to them - extreme and hard to pull off, I’ll admit that I’ve done this myself, it didn’t really work but I imagine it could.